


Dnd?? 'Hell' Yeah!

by MentalMishap



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Asexual Character, Badly Written, Crack Treated Seriously, Dungeons and Dragons, Vaggie and Charlie's relationship is just mentioned, basically crack, listen i'm trying, most likely out of character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-01-26 12:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21374299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MentalMishap/pseuds/MentalMishap
Summary: Charlie just wanted a nice, fun, bonding exercise. Vaggie just wants her gf to be happy. Angel Dust is down for anything, at this point. Niffty is excited. Husk just wants some booze.At least Alastor's having fun.
Relationships: Charlie Magne/Vaggie
Comments: 27
Kudos: 171





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Entirely based off a conversation with my friend about Hazbin, Video Streams, Broken Elevators, Dnd, and Alastor's idea of fun.

Charlie was so excited to present her bonding ideas to Alastor. He's sponsoring the hotel, he might as well know her plan, right? Alastor loved her idea of Dungeons and Dragons wholeheartedly. Maybe. He said "That's a wonderful idea, my dear!", in that radio voice of his. She swore she could hear clapping accompany it, too, but maybe that was her imagination. That was step one, complete! Now she had to gather everyone in the hotel's lobby. Easy Peasy! 

A few hours later, everyone was briefed on the idea, and she made sure everyone had a perfect character sheet. Some weren't too ecstatic at the idea (Husk), but everyone had to play! Niffty was already in the lobby waiting when Charlie got there, Vaggie dragged with her. Angel came a bit later, saying something about having been finishing something up. Charlie hopes it wasn't what she thought. All that was missing was Alastor and Husk.

"I'm sure they'll be here soon." Charlie nervously said. She can understand Husk not being here yet, but Alastor seemed so exicted at her idea. At least, as excited as he can seem, with his strange smile.

"If they don't show up soon, I'll drag them here myself." Vaggie grumbled.

"I'm sure they'll come any second." Charlie tried to remain positive. Angel laughed at what she said, but for now, she'll choose to ignore it.

Low and behold, Alastor soon walked in carrying two bottles and followed by a less then pleased Husk.  
Once seated, Alastor handed Husk the two bottles, who in response, popped one open and took a swig. It was painfully obvious that Alastor had to sway him with alcohol.

It was finally time to start. Angel Dust spoke up.

"Uh, not to be rude or anything, but who's in charge of this shit-show, anyway?"

Charlie tried to helpfully reply with, "Oh, you mean the Dungeon Master? That's," But was interrupted.

"That would be me, my friend!" Alastor's static-y voice spoke up. (Where the Hell was that applause coming from!?)

After a few protests from everyone, Alastor asked if everyone could introduced their characters. Charlie eagerly volunteered.

"Her name is Edelgard, and she is a Human cleric, all ready to help everyone!" She happily presented her character.

"Oh! Me next!" Niffty excitedly piped up. "This is Neat, she's a Halfling Ranger and Alastor helped me make her!"

Everyone glanced at said radio demon, who only smiled a bit wider. (was that even possible?)

"Alright," Angel started, "This is my Elf Bard, Dildonny." He smirked at his character's beautiful name. Everyone sighed.

"I guess I'll go." Vaggie sighed. Charlie gave her a thumbs up. "This is Moonglow, my Drow barbarian. She's just here to make sure Charlie lives." Alastor snickered.

Charlie turned to Husker Expectantly. He sighed.

"This is Huskin. He's a Human rogue."

"Love the Name, my good friend! Now It's time to begin." Alastor says, his voice slowly becoming darker. Like it does sometimes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, im not totally sure how to write words??? so if this totally sucks ass, my bad, i guess?  
Also im trying to experiment with Ao3, so bear with me here.

Angel wakes up to birds chirping and a bright light overhead. He groans.

"Ugh... Five more minutes...." Angel blinks his eyes open to discover that he is not, in fact, in his room at the hotel, and instead just kind of... lying on a grassy spot of land, just outside of a town? He also notes, that the sky is a deep blue color, like the sky back on earth? 

"What the fuck." He says. 

Well, this is obviously some weird, surreal dream he's having. Funny thing though, he cant remember how exactly he went to bed? He doesn't remember sleeping? He ponders this for a second. What was he doing last? Hmm...

Angel sits there for a good five minutes, just trying to figure out what happened, when a voice cuts through his thoughts. 

"Angel, dear, you'd better get going! The story's about to begin!" 

Who the fuck?

"Who the fuck?" He spins around to see absolutely no one nearby. Was that Alastor?

"Al, is that you? Where the hell are you?" There's no response. Creepy Motherfucker. 

He stands up and only just now realizes that he does not look like himself? He's still tall, but now he's totally got human skin? He's also wearing something fancy, like a bard in some dumb fantasy setting would wear. Oh wait. 

How could he forget?! They were playing some dumb roleplay game when Alastor pulled out his microphone-staff-thing, did some sort of magic thing and... huh. wait is he in the stupid game!? Is he... Dildonny!?! He reaches up and feels his ears. Oh, yeah, he's totally got stupid elf ears. At least his hair's still sort of styled the same way, and white. Oh shit, he also has... is this a lute? How's he supposed to fight with a lute?!

Also didn't Charlie, Vaggie, Husker, and Nifty also get like, sucked into the game? He should probably go find them. Then they can all find Alastor and get the hell outta here.

With that, Angel Dust heads into town.


	3. Just a quick note for the next update

my computers been kinda fucky lately, (It wont fuckin charge without me holding the charger, like the thing earbuds sometimes do) But I have another chapter ready to go. I've got finals tho so i'll prolly update it next weekend or something,,,, hopefully my computer will let me, rip. also my anxiety's been acting up, like, a lot lately, and my hands are unable to stop shakin,,,,,, which kinda makes it hard to type, especially with only one had since the other has to hold a CHARGER, THANKS OLD ASS CHROMEBOOK. Also ay im at 69 guest kudos so uh, nice.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RARE MOMENT MY COMPUTERS FULLY CHARGED FOR ONCE IN MY GOD DAMN LIFE.

A little ways away from where Angel awoke, Charlie and Vaggie walked through town.

"Come on, Vaggie! It's not _that_ bad!" Charlie tried to remain positive while Vaggie grumbled something in Spanish. Probably about Alastor. 

"Not that bad!? He's trapped us in one of his games, separated us, and turned us into our characters!"

"Oh, Vaggie! Look at this flower!" Charlie bends down to point at a deep crimson flower. Vaggie sighed and looked over Charlie's shoulder at the flower. 

"Hun, we can't keep stopping to look at every flower we come across." 

It's true. They've already stopped at 8 different flowers. 

"Well, you know what they say on Earth! Sometimes you've gotta stop and smell the roses!" Charlie beamed at Vaggie who sighed and let a small smile show on her face.

_'I guess if Charlie's having fun, its fine... I'll still keep my eye out for that.... Strawberry Pimp... Damn it, why is that catchy!?'_

They resumed walking. Just a Human and a Drow holding hands and and being cute. D'awww, look at that Solidarity. 

At the same time, a paper smacks Angel Dust in the face. He slaps it away and stomps on it. 'Coincidentally, when he stomped he turned around and noticed a small human Cleric, who looked almost exactly like Charlie but with short hair in a bun, holding hands with a taller drow with a spear on her back and an eye patch with a pink 'X' on it. Who looked a lot like Vaggie. Huh. 

It took him a solid 10 seconds to realize and exclaim,

"HEY! CHARLIE! VAGGIE! OVER HERE!" He waved his arms around obnoxiously, garnering some attention. 

"Angel!?" Charlie gasped, and waved back. Vaggie Huffed. After a bit of chatting (Mainly between Charlie and Angel), Vaggie brought them back to the task at hand. 

"Hello? We're supposed to be looking for Husker and Nifty?"

"Oh yeah I forgot about that." Angel said. 

And yet again, they set off!

(And somewhere, Alastor was enjoying every second of this.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact, I wrote this chapter directly after finishing reading Romeo and Juliet.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry its been a hot second. Schools kinda been kickin my ass. Actually im supposed to be writing an essay right now,,, its due,,,, 2 hours ago,,,  
ope.

Husker sat in a bar, Or rather, a tavern, and drank some booze. He could make better. When Alastor had done his stupid voodoo shit or whatever, he just kind of plopped him down by the bar. Typical. He took another slug of his drink. The bartender passed him a slip of paper. He ignored it. 

Ten minutes pass. The note laid unread. The bartender came by again. 

"More Booze."

Husker threw some gold on the bar. Somehow, he had awoken here with plenty of whatever the fuck the currency was. He was brought another drink with a deep red mini umbrella. The note was basically shoved in his face this time. He groaned and opened it. He recognized (at least, as much as you can recognize something while tipsy) Alastor's neat cursive handwriting. 

_"Greetings Husker my friend!"_

Husk Groaned.

_"Charlie and the rest should be here any minute now! Had you paid attention to my note, you'd have more time! So that's Your fault! I'll be seeing you soon. _

_-Alastor"_

Bastard. He could just hear the stupid laugh track now. Husker put his head in his arms. He sighed. 

The Tavern door creaked open. 

"Are you sure Husk'd be in here?"

Charlie follows Nifty into the bar, Angel and Vaggie behind her. They had found Nifty running around town. Its easy to spot a Halfling with a longbow. 

Husk keeps his head down. Maybe if he ignores them they'd go away. 

"Look! There's Husk!" Nifty runs up to him. He groans and pushes his head up. He sees that the note he had read was now blank. Before he could fully process this, Nifty was zipping around him. Alastor must have gotten lazy, as She looks exactly like her demon form but with two eyes. 

"Lets just get this over with." Husker Muttered and stood up. 

Suddenly, The hustle and bustle of the tavern just stopped. People stood frozen like statues.

"What the Fuck."

"_Vaggie!" _Charlie Gasped.

Angel stole a beer from a frozen guy. 

In a puff of smoke, an old radio appeared on the bar, a jazzy tune playing from it's speaker. 

The music was abruptly cut off. A second passed.

"Testing, Testing! 1, 2, 3! Can you all hear me? Ahaha! Im a poet and I didn't even know it!"

Angel Groaned. 

"You!" Vaggie stomped up to the radio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah i ran out of room in my book :| so it ends here, I guess?  
Now i just gotta hope the school wifi decides to work. (Update: It don't)


	6. Chapter 6

"You!" Vaggie stomped up to the radio. 

"I'm sorry darling! This Radio is a one way communication!" The radio laughed. 

Vaggie steamed. You could practically see the cartoon smoke pouring from her ears. 

Charlie put a hand on Vaggie's shoulder and gave her a soft look. Vaggie sighed, and stepped back from the radio. In exchange, Charlie approached it. 

"Al? We, uh... We need you to send us back now. Please?" 

Alastor laughed from inside the radio.

"A slight problem there! You see, I can only send you back after you complete your journey!" 

"Thats horse shit and you know it." Husk growled. Alastor chuckled in response.

Angel Dust speaks up from where he was drinking some poor guy's beer.

"Exactly what kind of journey are we talkin here?"

"Why, thats a great question Angel! You all have to find me! Drama! Action! Bloodshed!" The radio cackled ominously.

"Wait, Bloodshed?" Angel asked, dumbly. 

There was a puff of smoke where the radio stood, and suddenly, it was gone.

"Asshole." Vaggie grumbled and crossed her arms.

Charlie tried to remain positive. 

"Come on guys! It can't be that hard!"

Husk groaned. 

"Alastor's gonna drag this out for as long as he wants."

"He always was one for the theatrics!" Nifty added, and nodded to herself. I bet you forgot she was here. (read: So did i, ope) 

Time unfroze. A man went for a sip of his drink only to find it gone. Angel snickered. 

The doors slammed open. Two tall, burly human men walked through. Each dressed in suits. At the sight of them, most of the civilians tried to file out the door. The only one who noticed was Nifty. 

"Uh, guys?" Nifty pointed to the scene. 

"Not now Nifty. We gotta figure out how to find Al." Angel brushed her off. 

The men pulled out a crossbow each, and leveled them at the party. One aimed at Angel, the other, Vaggie. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh... Ive never written a fight scene before,,,, uhhh bear with me here.... 
> 
> Also! Important! The next chapter might take a hot second! I dont know. Depends on how my adhd wants to do stuff. I'm currently obsessed with the Saiki K fandom, so lets just hope this hyper-fixation doesn't last too long...


	7. yet another note... how boring

so uh... During the quarantine, one might think youd write more... But uh.... oop. Anyways. I just need ya'll to know that on top of all the online school work (takes 3-4 hours to complete per weekday), Animal Crossing (usually play for about 4 hours) and all the anime I've been binging in singular sittings (Saiki K, Kill La Kill, Devil Part timer, Black Butler, Haikyuu, Dr Stone), and how my friends got me into Mystic Messenger, I've been doing a lot of stuff. And writing this has never exactly been my top priority. I wrote this as a simple thing to do during school when i was bored and didnt need to listen to the lecture (biology class). However, now that school isn't exactly going on, and I no longer need to fiddle, I'm not exactly getting any work done on this fic. I've had no real direction for this fic since the beginning. All made up as i go, lol. I suppose this is writers block?? I've been a lot more focused on art as of late haha. Perhaps this may be a Hiatus? Idk, my update schedule was always shit, whats a few months more gonna do? upset people? Probably. 

Also, as stated last chapter, I have no idea how to write fight scenes. I have a vague layout on how it should go, but that's about it.

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And hey! If your interested (although i dont know why you would be), I DO have an Insta. (It is, however, just pictures of my cats and sometimes my shitty art). idk how to link it, but just search for apparently.im.unoriginal (names Chicken Nuggets, as well).


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